Day 2- Feeling Safe
Today we are reflecting on what is triggering our stress response.
Self inquiry is all about asking ourselves the deeper questions. We only stay at the level of understanding that we are at if we don’t start to ask ourselves a better question.
A better question could be-
Why does this bother me so much? Does it remind me of something in the past?
What would be the worse thing about that if my fear/ negative thought were to come true?
How can I support myself to feel more safety and security right now?
There are any number of things to be stressed about. Whether real or imagined it will have the same effect on our nervous system- initiation of the fight/flight response. When your mind and body is in fight/flight we can’t think straight. We feel foggy, agitated, locked-in to worries and concerns. Physically, our muscles become tight, getting ready to run away or fight. Our heart rate and blood pressure goes up, our breathing becomes shallow and rapid. Our blood glucose goes up, even our vision changes to be more long-sighted. It’s any wonder that staying in this state for long durations of time depletes our body and causes havoc on the health of our cells.
But, lets come back to ‘can’t think straight’. Usually we trust the thoughts and narratives that are coming into our own mind. They are our thoughts after all. When you’re in stress mode, your own thoughts are not to be trusted or believed! They have one purpose- get to safety and away from that trigger asap. This can be very counter productive, when we are called to problem solve our way out of a situation or get creative. If it’s people that are triggering us and we need to use our diplomatic skills, to be tactful and perhaps the bigger person. This is not available in stress mode. This is the small self. Hello bad behaviour. Your brain has become like a reptile, feeling danger for it’s life. I don’t know about you but I do not trust that creature to plan my future!
It’s by calming ourselves down and getting back into our centre that allows the front of our brain, the more evolved part, to come back online. For this to happen you can’t ‘reason your way there’, with yourself, or even with a tantruming child. You have to reconnect. Slow things down and create the feelings of safety within your body again. Then you’ll be ready to try again.
Today’s Activity:
4-7-8 Breathing Technique
SOLO VERSION
This is a beautiful, simple breathing exercise to reset the stress response. It can be done anytime and is my go-to when feeling overwhelmed.
Inhale- for the count of 4
Hold the breath- for the count of 7
Exhale- through pursed lips (like blowing up a balloon) for the count of 8
Try between 5-10 breaths in a row. Put one hand on your heart and the other on your belly and feel these areas expand with the deep breath.
When we take the time to breathe slowly and deeply it activates our calm nervous system- the parasympathetic. By slowing things down, it tells your brain that there must be no threat ‘out there’ as you couldn’t possible breathe this way if you were running or fighting a threat.
WITH YOUR KIDS
The same breathing technique can be performed with kids, depending on the age.
For younger children, get them to put their hands on their ribs. You can cue them-
‘Breathe into your body, feel it getting full’ and then ‘Breathe out like you’re blowing up a big balloon’. You can bring imagination in as well, telling them you’re going to blow up 10 balloons, ask them about the colour, the shape or if it’s animal to keep them engaged.
Bonus-
Another great tool to teach kids to breathe properly from low in their diaphragm is to play a game blowing a ping pong ball around using a straw. Less of a calming exercise as it can get rowdy but builds great body awareness.
BONUS NEURO:
Calming with Theta
Watch the Video on Theta brainwaves
Understanding brainwaves is key to managing stress and promoting relaxation. Our brains operate at different frequencies, much like tuning into various radio channels. When we are very young, our brainwaves are slower, starting in Delta, and as we grow, they progress through Theta, Alpha, and Beta waves.
- Delta Waves (0.5-4 Hz): Linked to deep sleep and restorative processes.
- Theta Waves (4-8 Hz): Associated with creativity, intuition, and relaxation.
- Alpha Waves (8-12 Hz): Indicate a relaxed yet alert state, common during meditation.
- Beta Waves (12-30 Hz): Associated with active thinking and focus.
- Gamma Waves (30-100 Hz): Involved in high-level cognitive functions and meditation.
When stressed, our brain may enter a state called high Beta, where we become super alert, often experiencing anxiety and overwhelm. However, our brains are highly responsive to the environment. By exposing ourselves to calming frequencies, we can influence our brainwaves positively.
Listening to Theta frequency music is a powerful tool for calming the nervous system, especially if you or your children often experience hyper-vigilance or anxiety. This type of music, commonly played in spas, helps transition the brain from high Beta to a more relaxed state, easing into Delta waves for restful sleep.
You can find Theta brainwave music on platforms like YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music. It’s especially effective during the evening wind-down, helping to promote relaxation and ease the transition to sleep. Give it a try and notice how it impacts your stress levels and sense of calm.
Helpful Links:
- Theta Brainwave Music on YouTube
- Theta Brainwave Music on Spotify
Bonus Tips…
Yin Yoga
Yin yoga is a slower yoga based practice that particularly aims to switch you into your parasympathetic nervous system. It is meant to be very passive, supported with props and never adding any pain or tension to your body.
Legs-up-the-wall Pose (Viparita Karani)
*This pose is contraindicated if you have medical conditions such as hernia, hypertension or glaucoma.
How to do it;
Set up a cosy space with a free and decluttered wall (or even the headboard of your bed).
Shimmy your hips as close to the wall as possible.
Walk your feet up the wall until your body is in an L-shape (or your comfy version of this!). You may like to put a cushion under your sacrum or your head.
Focus on slow, long breaths.
Stay for between 5-20minutes. Modify or stop if you have any discomfort.
Child’s Pose (Balasana)
Child’s pose is a very restful and soothing pose that gently stretches the spine and compresses the abdomen, benefiting digestion.
How to do it;
Begin by sitting on your heels and slowly fold forward, bringing your chest to your thighs and your forehead to the earth.
You can either have your knees wide or close together. Your arms can stretch up ahead of you resting on the floor or you can fold them gently beside your body.
You may also like to put a bolster or cushion underneath to support your body or your forehead.
Hold for 2-5minutes if comfortable and focus on your breath.
Don’t do this pose if it is aggravating to your knees or back, be mindful of your body’s signals.
